stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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