dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
worst night to have a conscience
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
