When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
