Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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