doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
