so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I need to align my fucking chakras
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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