Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
