What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
