im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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