trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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