I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
