Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
