I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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