Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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