Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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