i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
