About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He felt like a one man threesome
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize