So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I seem to have left my pride at pride
my being single is dangerous.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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