Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
