who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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