I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
We smell like vodka and hangover
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