Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
