im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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