he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
