batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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