You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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