Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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