i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
