How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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