she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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