We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
