he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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