I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
