Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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