Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
