So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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