Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
