so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
