Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
