Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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