Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just found a bag of teeth...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
