There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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