Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
