How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
