I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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