Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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