he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
