Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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