I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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