Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
