Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
