I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
