If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
