im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
