From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
