they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
