Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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