it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
