Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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