You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The maid of honor just puked.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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