Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
