he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
try to milk me bitch
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
