Can i not drive my cunt home
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
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